The Four Archangels

In Jewish loore there are Four Archangels.  Uriel is the angel of lights and perfections, controler of Insights and the sacred stones of the Urem and the Thumin, by which secret texts are said to be read.  In Romulan culture they too have some allusion to four archangels.  Gabriel is sometimes applied to Janis or the "keeper of the gate" who blows the Trumpet in the last day and is the angel of gates and doors, who will signal the Last Judgement of planet earth.  Michael is the war diety of the Jewish Nation in classic times.  It is said by many that Jehovah himself IS the Archangel Michael and has in fact appeared on earth and talked with Adam and Abraham and Enoch.  He is also the deity of money and materialism and gold.  Then we have Raphael, who is the Angel of healing and reconciliation and who is prayed to by man for intercession.  One may add the famed Fifth Angel to this list, who is not Charles Manson, but the god of Death nontheless, in the guise of Osirus, who is ironically also the god of renual and growth and greenery.  Whether Osirus appears at the top of a cosmic pyramid or at the bottom of an inverted pyramid is up to your own Cosmic perception.  Osirus is the guy who gives 3 D psychic depth to life and is the one who expands human existance beyond its perceived human confines.  They say "You can't take it with you" but another says "You CAN take it with you, once you know the plan".  The cosmic truth is this "If it's Yours, then you're STUCK with it whether you want it or not.  Sin is not to be somehow "compartmentalized" into a thing using Clintonesque reason.  Sin is not like some old regrets and resentments that you can shove into some cosmic trash compacter down to the shape of a rock, which you keep in your pocket, till one night when no one is looking you walk out on to the Huntington Beach pier and toss it into the ocean, with the ease that Samantha Brady tosses a gun into the Salem River after damn near offing her Husband.  (Selah)


The following story never happened.  Once upon a time there was a girl named Samantha.  One time she almost married a guy named Franko Kelly.  In fact they were shacked up together for a while in northern Mexico in the little town of Los Cajones.  Franko there had two children who are products of invetro furtelization of cosmic zygotes.  But one day the kids were acting up just a little too much and when Franko got home Samantha was waiting there with a gun to waste him.  But the courts got her off to the intervention of Samantha's future mother in law named Cassey who seemed to appear out of nowhere like Annie Wilks, or something.  It's one of those cases of owing someone everything yet at the same time wishing you had never met them.  After this things went back to normal and Samantha took up with a sailor in San Diego named Lucas, of the house of Skywalker.  Lucas was a good man.  Samantha and Lucas' mother got along famously.  But then one day Lucas mother suggested that after Lucas got out of the navy that she had a job for him lined up embalming and then stuffing dead birds and selling them at Bates Curios there in downtown Eugene, Oregon.  This wasn't the life Samantha had envisioned for herself.  So instead she enroled in UCLA and decided to major in Computer Hacking, which she did very well in.  But then one horrible day she met Cassy's son, Elvis.  He seemed like a nice boy and all even if he was a little stuck on himself.  But now she had no choice but to marry him in fulfilment of her deal with Cassey.  But she would still meet Lucas secretly on those occasions when he could get away from his mother.  He would borrow a twin engine plane piloted by William Holden who enjoyed wearing Newyears eve Tuxedos in a driving rain storm while piloting the plane.  Later on when Elvis developed an alcohol problem he would go on drunk rants saying that their son, Austin, was really fathered by Lucas and not Elvis.  All went well untill the late summer of 1965 when Elvis found out the Truth about the paternity of his eldest son.  Elvis began having stomach problems and resorted to alcohol to first quell the pain and after he got his ulcer he quit for a while but then started again.  And then he got so depressed he began drinking more and then a doctor put him on Zoloft and Prozac.  All went well except of course Elvis' whole personality got completely screwed up.  He lost all ambition for advancement at his job and he quit all the Church Involvement that had been such a prominent feature previously.  A few years after Austin was born  Lucas fathered a daughter named Kathy.  But Kathy's mother, maiden name Bonnie Lockhart was an addicted gambler and Lucas grew disgusted and divorced her and married another woman.  But Bonnie put a hex on Lucas and Lucas was told that he had to blackmail certain people to keep certain information quiet and pay her money to her to finance her gambling addiction.  And she had the power to make it happen.  But then Alice Horton found out about it and sent Elvis a letter and told him about it.  But Raphael grew angry with Alice and struck her with senility and then death for her action that would cause pain to so many.  So the moral of the story is "Don't go washing your dirty underwear in public especially if you stole it off someone elses' clothesline to begin with".