Cosmically, It All Balances Out

Today is August 28, 2014, Thursday.  Few republicans according to Thom Hartman know the actual definition of “Libertarian”.  I believe that.  Larry Elder think he’s a libertarian and he is not.   In fact most Republicans don’t accept the Libertarian’s own definition of themselves.   Thom Hartman has buttressed one of my private views.  I said I would not want a remote ‘kill’ switch on my I Phone.  I wasn’t entirely sure why I felt this way except I didn’t want my phone remotely hacked.  But there is a much clearer danger that the government could en mass shut down all cell phones in case of a massive protest somewhere like the Egyptians had when they broke loose from Morisee a year or so ago.  The scene in that town square was liberty in action.  Now they are putting out a super size I Pad that will be twelve inches.  Some have said “You don’t want to carry anything around so large it feels like a pizza box”.   I’d buy a twelve inch if I were into that sort of thing.  When you think about it Steve Jobs didn’t live that long to enjoy his great success.  The I-Pod, which you rarely hear of now came out in 2001.  And the I phone didn’t come out till 2007, when Steve Jobs had just over four years to live.  The I Pad didn’t come out till 2010, I am reminded.  It’s been three years already since Steve Jobs has been dead.  He is a cosmic fraud because after meditating in India he got the revelation to be a greedy capitalist, and his co workers hated him for a lot of reasons, including not letting the people he’s worked so closely with when he was poor, have any shares of stock when the company went public.  That’s bad karma.  Now of course he is in what you might call Andromeda D heaven.  But tell me what solice it is to be the most carnal person in heaven.  These things have a way of cosmically balancing out.

We are still gun crazy in this country.  This nine year old girl was trying to shoot an automatic Uzi and lost control of the weapon and killed her instructor when the gun veered to the left.  This was at the “guns and burgers” shooting range, in either Nevada or Arizona, depending on who you ask.  Nobody stops to think how traumatized this child will be over this act her whole life.  Apparently if you carry automatic weapons to shopping malls in Arizona, your fine.  But in another part of the courtry one man was getting ready to buy a toy gun for his son, and was shot dead by police.  Now the state of California wants only bright colors for toy guns.  What’s to stop a criminal from spray painting in florescent colors his weapon to make the cops think it’s just a toy?

The first hour of Stephanie was a rerun of Tuesday so I went to Bill Press who was talking about this latest airlines incident.  This man put on one of these “knee savers” on his food tray on an airplane, which completely prevents the seat in front of you from reclining.  It is Bill Press’ belief that these cute little inventions are perfectly legal, but one airline spokesman says they are not.  Even Bill Press believes enough in business propriety to say that “You are instituting a device fundamentally altering the operation of the Airline.”   But of course they said that 34 inches used to be standard distance between the row seats.  Then they changed it to 32, and then 31 and some even 30 - - endeavoring to cram more rows of seats into a plane.  They say it’s rare to ever find an empty seat on a flight today because of “over-booking” you are very likely to be bumped from a flight- because the airlines are so chincy about leaving any empty seats.  I heard from Rush or someone that they have some new kind of bomb now that - - when seen in a scanner just looks like part of your body or something and goes undetected.

Rush Limbaugh this said some things which warm the cockles of my heart.  Rush was in a state of near political despondency.  He says the Republicans are between a rock and a hard place because if they react to President Obama’s “delivering of immigration amnesty” on Labor Day- -  it’s a case of “Don’t stop me from doing something stupid! - -  why did you just make me make a fool of myself”.   Because the mantra goes “Obama WANTS the Republicans to close down the government to garner democratic votes for the November election.     In other words the Democrats are so sphengolic like they have the power to “force the Republicans into doing something stupid, like try and impeach the President”.   Rush also echoed my sentaments of the other say seeing if the Republicans win big in November, what have they won?  More strife and division - - that’s what.  The media will still be just as sympathetic to the liberals- or at least no less than they are now.   Rush put it succinctly when he said “The republicans are trying to get fifteen yards for a first down, and the Democrats have their eye on winning the game, when the Republicans aren’t even close to getting a touchdown”.   Rush also said something else “If you have inside political information you should keep it to yourself” not that women and conservative social issues don’t mix.  We knew that.  The way for Democrats to win is to play on women’s fears of conservative social issues.  So even if you were a democrat who believed in traditional views on social issues, you wouldn’t at all mind the Democrats playing up these fears that women have.

Stephanie Miller reports that the Republicans are thinking of running Romney again and apparently Paul Ryan still likes Mitt Romney.  I mean, who else have they got?  Perhaps it’s time to bring back Goldwater and Miller, of course now it would be Miller – Goldwater, Stephanie Miller and Cee Cee Goldwater, his granddaughter.  What we are crying for is an all woman ticket.   It would be just like the Republicans to take a bold leap into the past - - and it would turn out to be the smartest thing they ever did.  I would now like to relate some dialog from “Say Wally” an old vinyl record comedy track.   “Say Wally, what do the Goodyear Blimp and Walter Mondale have in common” - - “They’re both full of hot air and running around in circles”.   “Say Wally, do you think Jesse Jackson is going to run again for President in four years”.    Wally says, “Oh, no - - Jesse Jackson has gone way beyond that!   Now I hear he’s running for GOD!”   “Say Wally, what do you think the Republican’s chances are in four years”.   Wally says, “Gee I don’t know; I think we’re got our work cut out for us.  I hear the democrats are going to put up Andre Gramico for the top spot.  After all, who else have they got?”

The Federation has not cone down on Burger King for wanting to move to Canada. One reason why they haven’t is because Burger King is “a proprietary Federation property”, and that word “proprietary” is used, to denote one of the minor races and not the major ones such as Dardanians or Reigelians.  If you are any kind of Reigelian fan however you have three choices to go with.  Of course any kind of racial Reigelian to one degree or another has greenish skin.   Taco Bell is Cortessian, and Arby’s Roast Beef is Bajoran.   In terms of either Carl’s or Mac Donalds, they have no cosmic credentials at all and neither does Wendy’s.  And as to this White Castle place, I’m not sure I’m going to get my meat from any place that soulds like some kind of poultry disease.  But Bones is telling people- - as the choice of his Romulan friends (and the Southern California Romulans) to go with Jack-in-the-Box for all your fast food needs.  Jack in the Box is part of that “Crosstown Traffic” group we spoke of musically a few months back.  I would now like to put up an alternate explanation from how they got their name- - other than what we told you a couple months back.   This Crosstown group was part of the old Reigelian Federation, but they never joined with Orion because they refused to sign a contract everyone who joined the Federation has to sign, because they didn’t want to give away their sovereignty.   They advertise the fact that they aren’t Federation.  This planet got its name as a “stopover point” for Shuttle craft who have to refuel- - and who are evading the Federation.    In other news we have two more cosmic rock group identities to report, “Hewey Lewis and the News” is Karn – Evel (and that’s how it’s spelled) and of course “99 Red Balloons” is Berliner, a fact I’m sure that comes as a surprise to no one.