Glass Houses

You've heard the addage "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones". Well one talk show host was casting aspursions at George Bush last week. A lot of people have been saying George Bush needs an "intervention" like a drug intervention they talk about on Dr. Phill, as though Bush were some kind of a mental patient. Mark Hartman called President Bush "delusional" last week. I think saying the President has lost contact with reality is like going around cannisters of propane with a blow torch. You see if Bush is crazy then we're all crazy for electing him. It would suppose that Robert Gates is crazy and congress is crazy for approving him and that we're all crazy for voting for him last time. Personally I don't know why we jumped from the frying pan into the fire by electing an Sec. of Defence involved in Iran-Contra. But that's not Bush's fault. That's a representation of the oppinion of the congressmen we elected. I think the best thing we can do now is think positive thoughts about our future. Things could still work out OK. As the song goes, "You've got time to rectify all the things that you should". We don't know what final decision Bush is going to make about the war. He's given himself a little more time to think about it and Christians can pray that the Lord will be speaking to him over the holidays so he'll know exactly what to do. He just could be vindicated. The fact is there are a lot of people in Iraq who support Bush's policies. I've heard the people who are happy with Bush outnumber the people who are unhappy with Bush. Much of the country is already "pasified". They're saying stuff like fighting in Iraq is good training background for Moslem terrorists who then fan out into Europe and recruit more people there. The fact is our service men believe in the war. A lot of them seem to think we're winning or at least see light at the end of the tunnel. I'm just saying don't speek too soon for the wheel's still spinning and we don't know where it will land. The right wingers may have more going for them than we think they do.

The idea of a Christian therapist is sort of an oxy moronism. It's like "deafening silence" or "jumbo shrimp" for for that matter a "Christian Jew". You know someone calling themselves a Christian therapist like Thom Hartman, who is a Christian and a therapist, already has two strikes against them in my book. It's like that judge on the Beverly Hillbillies named vinigar Joe Johnson who hated bankers and city fellows because his wife ran off with a banker from St. Luis. "So just as long as your client isn't a banker or a city fellow you'll be OK". Of course the guy was both. I don't know if I've actually met a Christian therapist - at least one that I've had a rational conversation with. Of course "Mr. El Paso" is one. Stanley Abott is another. During my therapy with them he let it slip that he had sympathies twords fundamantalist Christianity - I don't remember how exactly it came up. Both these two and Eileen all have one thing in comon. They broke a confidence I had with them and made public things I intended to be kept private. In at least two of the cases they broke the law in doing so and all three the revelations caused me personal harm. I don't like the way therapists think. You know I don't like the attitude twords anthropologists had tword that tribe of humans that walked on all fours. They were treated as some sort of side show freaks. Anthropologists were musing about the contents of their brains. The whole thing was a little too "Planet of the Apes" for me. When we stop looking at people as humans createdx in the Image of God (as Moslems view mankind, by the way) and start looking at people as laboritory freaks I believe we've stepped over a line that we should not step over.

Some people may ask me "Don't you think some of your remarks on the last posting were a little delusional?" I think we need to define the word delusional. Captain Queeg was delusional. He imagined threats that wern't there and governed his life as though they were true. The only "delusion" you could peg me with in that blog is if you knew for a FACT that none of those things happened and that my young pre-school and toddlerhood was as ordenary as could be. But the fact is every time I try to THINK BACK past a certain point I come up with a lot of this gobble-dy-gook. For some reason REAL MEMORIES prior to age four & a half aren't there. It's kind of like looking at Jesus' life. I have often said there is sketchy evidence Jesus went places like to Glastenburry or to India. Edger Cayce says Pursia. There is scant evidence Jesus was married. There is NO EVIDENCE that Jesus lived a perfectly normal, uneventful life. It is noted that ALL of the gospells of Jesus speak of him as being totally divine. However- - his HUMAN qualities had to evolve into being with time. Luigi Cascioli isn't far wrong saying some of the key Christian writings seem to deny Jesus was human at all. Justin Martyr has the basic tennants of Christianity laid out about Jesus' death being the New Covenent in his blood, and that there is a higher spiritual law Jesus and us should live by and that giving of the Hebrew law was kind of a reluctant afterthought on God's part. All this is sure. Whether Jesus of Nazareth actually lived or not at all- - well, that's up for speculation. Bottom line is I'm tempted to say I'll give up any not well founded Beliefs about anything you want, if someone will come foreward and say this whole Christianity thing is a fraud.

Dr. Phill said something about decisions teenagers make. He said that their brains just aren't developed enough and they don't see the consequences of their actions. This is why they do things on a dare. This is why they join up with the Military and go fight in Iraq to prove they're some sort of super hero. They see these Army promos that indicate War is just one big life Vidio Game. Also people who "Give their lives to Christ" don't often know what they are doing. How can you make a life decision based on a twenty minute or half hour speech? Last night on "Justice" they had this murder case where this defence lawyer had a half a day to wrap up his entire case and submit it to a jury who hopefully would render a verdict before five PM when it was time to go Home for the Christmas Holidays. To complicate matters a fresh witness was sprung on them at the last minute. The client was accused of murdering a taxi driver in a dark alley. He says he didn't do it. To complicate matters further the guy was in the FBI witness protection program where a lot of secrets, including an arrest record were "off limits" and could not be asked. This is kind of how it is with an Evangelists speech. You have twenty minutes to weigh out the rest of your life- - and the thing is inherently not a fair contest.

One of our postings in Psychic Ballance is The John Dean Testimony. We kind of rushed the end a bit and I'd like to privide a little "Let it all hang out" information from an early June 1996 file, for public scruteny, even if it makes me look bad. None of the names are changed but if you're offended well Ain't that just too bad! These events occurred sixteen and a half years ago so let's roll footage now.

, in l990 it was a bright, sunny day. The following day

was the primary election. I remember just after voting this day how "down"

and "out of it" I felt. This idea "once you get everything done you feel

great" does not pan out in real life. You have "nothing left to do".. so

you're here another year. Big fat hairy deal! I remember just having this

strangely "detatched" feeling this day. It passed as the days went by, but

I have not forgotten how it felt. It was strange. At Alpha Beta that prev-

ious Saturday when I went to photocopy- I saw the LIFE magizine with that

wierd picture of Elvis on it saying that he comitted Suicide. To me that

shows a type of bravery. He's willing to face God with all the "stuff" he

has done. It says something about his "Faith", if you know what I mean- -

that psychic sense about eternity of nothing to fear but "there is something

better out there". From that moment on I was in a strange mood. Again, the

weather these first days of June l990 were hot, dry, and sunny. You could

not ask for better. And there were these giant green bee-things. Later

on Nicholas was amused I was afraid of them. I suppose maybe if you knew

they didn't sting. But they sure look mennacing. And they show up in June.

There are a few other things about l990. In the summertime. A lot

of wierd, some might say, pivital events took place. Had I chosen to do

myself in at this time- - - the funny thing is- actually most of the time

I was in a good mood and things were OK. Except when I felt like killing

myself. This was the month Emily almost got me to agree to be baptized in

her pool. I was teetering on saying "Yes". But if you know Emily there have

been times I have decided I was going to "do" something, and she keeps talk-

ing, and I change my mind and decide not to. Later on this month sometime-

was when Debby broke up with her one-time boyfriend. The thing is, when she

broke up with him- relations with ME got worse. There were a few notible

ZAC albums of the period "Not Here Not Now" in late May; "Something Cold" in

mid June, and "Real People" in mid July. I may get around to talking about

these and many other matters later. But I'm not ready for that now. I just

had the goal of starting the file tonight. And I have done that. By the

way that opening quote comes from "Beatles at the BBC" which aired on Mem-

orial Day. One of the last Bryan Burne oldies nights on KRTH. And also one

of the earlyest references to making reference to over imbibing. As I re-

call, on a tape. The funny thing being I haven't had what I had that night

Burbin, in so long I cant remember. I can't remember being really satis-

fyingly "drunk", wasted, "blotto" for a long long time now.

OK this is the next day but many things flew around in my mind last

evening. I even went out for more beer it was so hot and the supplies I had

seemed not quite adequate to the task of "sedating" me. I comented to the

lady at Lucky 7 how warm the night was, and I in shorts, too.

Back in l990 things by today's standards seemed almost idilic. There

was this teenager in apt. 5 or 7 and he lived in with his girlfriend, and

lots of others. He was a corgial guy. Never tried to play mind gamve on

me or anything. She was fashionably slutty, as I recall. Nick rode around

in the "Nick mobile" as I referred to it. a yellow and orange plastic thing

he got inside of and peddled. And he was only two, but bright. I remember

him trying to say "ice cream truck". One time a bunch of then denighed one

was around and it came closser and Nick exclaims louder "Ice Cream Truck!".

I remember the day Kathy deemed to leave me along with a not quite two year

old Nicholas. Figured I must have earned some trust. We were both in the

jacuzzi. On the fourth of July the three of them from apt. #27 where they
lived then, went to some elevator ride thing at Disneyland. It was a week
or so later Friday the 13th. and I was over at Ken's apartment with that
family with Nicholas. Some activity was planned but I had my anally reten-
tive agenda and did not stay long. The next day it had to be it seemed to
me I was improving my relation with James, if not Sherry, his mother. Sh

had a little girl, too, named Torrie, short for Victoria, I later learned.
James had certain facial features & complexion that reminded me of his moth-
er. He had a friend named Tracy. When I first met Tracy, who was intro-
duced to me, I was a little wierded out. You see, tracy had long hair and
kind of a rounded face and was just a little pudgy and even starting to get

teats, if I'm not mistaken and this combined by the way James dominated him
made me think Tracy was a girl going topless in the pool.
Terry (if He is a woman that beard groath is a great desguize) mean-

while had plans to go to a bar-b-Q at Linda Hammer's appartment on July 14th.
and I had intended to go but the closser the date got the more "put off" I
felt and by the actual date I felt so "intelligent" for NOT going. But

stayed home and listened to a Jimmy Page special on the radio and went out

to the Jacuzzi with these two Mexicans and a baby, as I recall. As you may

know Linda had reacently married Dave and not informed me. But when I fin-

ally met "Dave" he spouted scriptures at me maniacly, like some fifteen year
time warp. (see "Rachett" for what happened) One other event was on July

12th. which was a Thursday, and astrologically a "key" day I had anticipated.

There were these four girls, vaguely Mexican, never saw them before this day

and was never to see them again. One of them resembled Debby Lies, and i

was instantly attracted to her, and she seemed attracted to me. She said to

me "Buy me some cigarettes and I'll be your friend for life". But I didn't.

Howard Stern has oft made the remark "I used to buy girls cigarettes, and

then never get sex". Tword the end of this month I baught "Biograph" and I

mused about Dillinger and impending death, and "the same time of year..."

I wanted to talk a little more about Nicholas, and was going to include a file I did in early June 1996 discussing the period of mid 1990. But I won't do it on the first posting. I was fiddeling around and here's some word play BEATLES can be re-arranged to spell BET SALE. Nicholas, minus the letters in BEATLES forms the words IN HOC. Which is latin for "In this" or perhaps "By this (sign)". The letters where Nicholas and Beatles overlap you have the letters S L A. You may remember Patty Hurst. You young ones look it up. In terms of the words in Beatles not in NICHOLAS you come up with B E E T. Two things. There is a song lyric "I'll plant you now and dig you later, cause you're a find sweet potater". However with a little Wheel action you get E BET, or electronic gambling. It was in the year 2005 that John Lennon indicated he was interested in the life of Nicholas. You know- - if I get a psychic impression of something it's more valid than Christianity because it's ME, who is getting the impression. I can vouch for ME. I can't neccarily vouch for others. But one time while I was listening to a John and Yoco tape with Sean, their son I got a strange vibe. Remember those two "German"esque names I told you about last time? Do you remember The Three Faces of Eve? Do you know what the punch line of that movie was. There was EVE White and EVE Black but NEITHER turned out to be the real HER in the end! What emerged was a new personality named Jane. I'd like to suggest a parellel in my life. These two "entities" met. Their paths crossed- - I believe in Vancouver, which isn't a made-up city even if you heard it on the Simpsons. Both "souls" were brought there by a comon force we at the federation call Alcion. Otherwise known as Pliades Alpha to star gazers.

Alcion may not be morally that great, but there are worse entities to worry about And that is in an admittedly fictional account of The Asshole from El Paso in July of 1997 we have "El Paso" taking his orders from a fictionalized Geoni Versachi. We portray him as sort of a Stephano Di Mira charactor, who tormented the people of Days of our Lives for decades. We aren't saying any more about "Geoni" now. Only to sqay that he is not entirely fictional and may pose a threat to my life. I also know that he has a drug problem- - and not being his friend I'm going to Say Nothing.